Here’s a truth we don’t talk about enough:
You can be surrounded by people and still feel unsupported.
You can ask for help and still feel misunderstood.
And sometimes, you can do all the “right” things and still feel stuck—because you’re asking the wrong people for the right kind of support.
Not everyone is meant to support you in every way.
Different people bring different strengths.
Some are great listeners.
Some are solution focused.
Some are emotional anchors, while others are the cheerleaders you didn’t know you needed.
But here’s where it gets tricky:
When we’re in a vulnerable place, we often expect the wrong person to give us the right thing.
And that mismatch?
It hurts.
It’s not that they don’t care.
It’s that they don’t know how and maybe they were never meant to.
The power of asking strategically, not just emotionally.
When you’re drowning, it makes sense to reach for whoever’s closest.
But when it comes to growth, healing, and clarity, we need to get intentional about who we lean on.
Ask yourself:
- Who in my life actually gets this part of my journey?
- Who can hold space without judgment?
- Who challenges me with love, not criticism?
- Who supports my evolution, not just my comfort zone?
When you get clear on what kind of support you need—emotional, practical, spiritual, creative, accountability-based, you’ll know who to ask (and who to give grace to when they can’t show up in that way).
Not all advice is equal.
Someone can love you and still give you advice based on their fear, their worldview, or their limits.
Be mindful of who you let influence your decisions.
Sometimes, the most well-meaning people are offering support that’s rooted in keeping you safe, not helping you grow.
Redefining what support looks like.
Support isn’t always a pep talk or a fix-it plan.
Sometimes, it’s:
- Someone texting, “I’m thinking of you.”
- A coach or therapist helping you untangle your thoughts.
- A friend sitting beside you, not saying a word.
- A community that gets it, even if they’ve never met you in person.
- Saying “no” to someone draining so you can say “yes” to yourself.
Support isn’t about quantity.
It’s about quality.
It’s about fit.
Asking the right people doesn’t make you picky or high maintenance.
It makes you self-aware. It makes you wise.
And here’s the magic:
When you stop begging for support in the wrong places, you free up energy to find it where it actually exists.
A reminder for you……
You’re not too much for needing support.
You’re not weak for asking.
And you’re not ungrateful for wanting the kind that actually helps.
So, be brave. Get specific. Ask clearly.
And remember: You deserve to be held by people who can actually hold you.
