Oh yes, he’s back! The drama llama has made an appearance again and it made me realise that as much as we like to think we have dealt with things sufficiently, there is every chance we haven’t. There are things that will reappear in our lives at times when we’re not expecting them and therefore, we need to be prepared, we need to recognise that there are habits and behavioural changes that we need to continually practice otherwise we will be revisiting the same issues time and time again.
So the drama llama – I think we probably all have at least one maybe two in our lives the person who seems to exist on the drama around them and if it’s not their drama it’s usually somebody else’s! We’ve probably had many visits from the drama llama in our lifetime and it continues to baffle us as how to deal with them.
For me I find these people quite exhausting, I do recognise that because my profession means that I am exposed to lots of real life drama it probably means my tolerance is less for those that seem to relish in it but let’s be honest, that’s my stuff to deal with and I have to choose how to manage that so it doesn’t affect my well-being.
I guess that’s why I decided to write about this again, not just because it’s something that reoccurs in my life but because it’s something that I work on with clients, finding coping mechanisms in their already busy lives so they find ways to shut some of that drama out as they just don’t have the time or the energy for it.
Over the years I’ve tried various techniques:
- I’ve got involved which is usually a big mistake as the drama becomes greater and I become more immersed often against my will. I just find myself irritated and exhausted by it.
- I have chosen to ignore the drama completely and hope that it goes away and yes, that sometimes works but not always and can leave the other person feeling ignored or abandoned and nobody wants to hurt somebody else’s feelings intentionally.
- Most recently I have found myself responding to various dramatic texts or messages with fairly generic and undramatic replies hoping to sound sympathetic and supportive without actually getting embroiled in the drama and I’m delighted to say that on the whole that seems to have worked for me and I’m going to continue with this method.
Obviously there are going to be occasions where these things don’t work, I’m learning that rather than reacting straight away and feeling the need to respond instantly, I’m walking away, considering my response which then tends to be a lot less involved. Have you found ways to deal with your drama llama’s?
It is likely that we will always be visited by some sort of drama llama throughout our lives and really it’s all about how we deal with it, how we manage my reactions to it as to whether we let someone else’s drama affect our mental well-being? Sometimes we have to take responsibility for our reactions to other people stuff as let’s face it, nine times out of 10 we can’t do anything about their stuff, we can only work on ourselves and our reactions.
So next time the drama llama pays a visit to your home, the next time it manages to wind you up completely, ask yourself why? Why did you open the door and let them in? Could you have stood on the doorstep being sympathetic and kind without allowing them to come and trample all over your house?
The drama llama is not welcome in my house, I don’t want it or need it but I will stand on the doorstep and show it some kindness if I can.