Ok…..into week 3 we go!
I’ve cleaned, I’ve painted, I’ve stained, I’ve sanded, I’ve scrubbed grout, I’ve wiped down skirting boards…..
I’ve also read, made rainbow signs to go in windows, created happy birthday banners for our neighbours children self isolating, sorted out Mums button box ready to make cushion covers and finished the end of year accounts (kind of!)
We are all very aware that this lockdown is set to continue for the foreseeable future, 2 weeks has been filled with jobs (I still have many more I can do) but for me, it’s at this point that I need to really focus on being patient. When it comes to work, my clients and all that is involved in coaching, I am exceptionally patient HOWEVER when it comes to my home life, I am very used to doing things my way!
My husband’s job means that he is often away leaving me in a house that remains tidy, everything in it’s own place, food and meals planned and basically me in control of my environment – not so much now!!! To be fair, my husband isn’t a messy person but doesn’t have the same level of attention to detail (nicely reframed there) that I do. If he’s doing the washing up after dinner, he has no problem leaving it until the following morning whereas I CANNOT do that when I’m on my own. I keep surfaces free from clutter, he doesn’t. I will put things away religiously and if he thinks we are likely to need them relatively soon, he leaves them out.
I have to admit that I’ve found this testing BUT also very aware as to what a great lesson this is for me in letting go a bit, of not sweating the small stuff. The reality is, I am currently safe and well, I am not doing heroic and quite frankly frightening things like our wonderful front liners and NHS staff so moaning that the sugar hasn’t been put back in the right place or asking why he needs 6 pairs of trainers sitting in the hall, is really trivial.
We are all having to do things differently – perhaps you too are finding your patience is being tested? Maybe your teens are driving you mad? The little people in your life seem to endlessly need something and on top of that, your house and home feels like it’s been taken over by aliens? But does any of this really matter in the long term?
How do we cope? Well we recognise which battles are worth fighting and we let go of the ones that aren’t. So the house is untidier, the kids are spending too much time online playing games, our partners are attempting DIY that has the potential to go horribly wrong. The things that usually wouldn’t bother us so much are starting to grate, but perhaps it’s their way of coping?
Take a deep breath, walk away, distance yourself even if it’s for a matter of seconds and ask yourself “is it worth the battle?” You’ll know the answer. If it’s not – let it go, find something to occupy yourself to momentarily change your thought pattern. If it is, then deal with it but check in with yourself that you are not over-reacting because you’re feeling fraught?
These are testing times, we will be tested some more but if we keep our heads, we show kindness to others, we learn to be a little more patient, the time will be easier to handle I’m sure.
