Do you feel appreciated?

Do you have conversations with people about NOT feeling appreciated?

For you to feel appreciated, what must happen? I talk a lot about gratitude and being grateful for things/people in our lives as do many others, but there doesn’t seem to be much discussion about appreciation and how we can both show others we appreciate them or explain to others how they can help us to feel appreciated.

I suspect that given some thought, you can probably come up with several examples where you’ve felt unappreciated or certainly situations where the level of appreciation hasn’t seemed to “match up” to what you might have done?

I actually feel quite uncomfortable even writing this as it sounds a little “needy” but having experienced a couple of occasions where I have felt unseen, unheard, not really appreciated, it got me thinking and of course, it’s come up in sessions with clients who’ve felt the same.

I realised that for me, in order to feel appreciated, I need action rather than words. Don’t get me wrong, a thank you or an acknowledgement of what I have done is gratefully received but in certain instances, it feels like the easy option or lacking effort.

Now I know that it’s not always appropriate to display appreciation by a physical action – flowers, a card etc. but in some instances, a kind thought, a demonstration that you have been thought of and perhaps prioritised can take very little effort but can make the receiver of the attention feel special, appreciated.

I am an actions person and therefore when someone takes the time, makes the effort to actually do something for me, it means a HUGE amount, but I am not particularly good at explaining that to others. I assume (and we all know that seldom ends well) that people will miraculously recognise that it’s the little but physical actions that will make me feel appreciated – the cup of tea, someone suggesting I sit down while they wash up, doing something to make my day easier without being asked, the pound bunch of daffodils just because they can…..I could go on.

So, I’m going to work hard to try and voice to my loved ones, what they can do to help me feel appreciated (if I’m going to talk the talk, I need to walk the walk.) I’m also going to make sure that I continue to demonstrate small acts of kindness to people I love to ensure that they too feel appreciated and seen.

It’s not always the extravagant gifts, it’s not just the words “thank you”, it’s the little things, the effort you put in, that go such a long way in showing your appreciation for those you love and care for.